21 Questions: A New Way of Thinking About Your Midlife


Hello! Did you know that most people spend more time planning their 2 week summer holiday than they do planning their lives? I guess when I was told that it sadly didn’t come as a huge surprise. Asking questions is at the very heart of coaching. Coaching is not about telling you what to do. Coaching is about guiding you to find the answers yourself. My philosophy is that you are the expert on your life, not me. My role is to help you uncover those answers. I’ve created an ebook of 21 … [Read more...]

Monday Morning Food for Thought – 3rd November 2014


“Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today.” ~Cherokee Proverb Guilty as charged on this one my friends. And it's what I need to read and digest and learn from today. I woke this morning with yesterday's not so good soundtrack in my head. It's already wasted some of my day and barged into my morning meditation. I like this Cherokee wisdom, it's simple and profound. Are you guilty of this too? Have a very happy Monday Rebecca x … [Read more...]

40 Words of Wisdom for our Children

You are enough - rebperkins.com

This post appeared in the Huffington Post during the summer and resonated with a lot of people. I have been overwhelmed with the feedback I got from it, from teenagers telling me that their father sent it to them and that they loved it, to grandparents telling me that my words meant a lot to them and were still relevant to them today. I'm beyond grateful if there is such a thing. I'm sharing it here you with my friends in case you didn't see it. I've decided that if I needed a sign then this … [Read more...]

Maithri Goonetilleke + How to Inspire Teenagers


My boy returned from school on Friday following their weekly Lower Sixth lecture from 'a man, mum, who talks about the same stuff as you,...maybe you're not so weird after all.' I worry at times (the down and self doubting times) that I’m not equipping my children for the hard slog of reality in this tough world. I know I’m someone who lives with their head in the clouds (some call it la la land), I know my feet are not often on the ground. I know I look for the positive in everything. And I … [Read more...]

Listen to the Words in your Head

self talk internal dialogue

I've got a question for you, it's something that comes up time and again with clients and I'm curious to know your response. Did I mention it's something I would do well to ask myself as well? Would you speak to your best friend (that's your BFF) the way you speak to yourself? Well, do you? Hmmm, no I didn't think so. We all speak to ourselves, every single one of us. There is no getting away from the internal chatter. For some it's a constant stream of dialogue (myself included). For … [Read more...]

Raw and Real


There are times that life is a hard struggle and right now is one of them. I get overwhelmed with the persistent, jabbering, all consuming thoughts in my head and I’m exhausted. Utterly exhausted. I make up stories that have absolutely no basis in fact yet are totally real in my head. I can believe utter nonsense to my core and it terrifies me. I can tell myself the most outrageous lies and believe them. These are my demons. Please tell me that I’m not the only one? There are times that my dear, … [Read more...]

The Marriage Box

Marriage Box

I came across this the other day and wanted to share it with you.  I believe these are wise words and can apply to all relationships we are in whether romantic, familial or business. Just tweak the words to suit the relationship! Do we start new relationships and friendships believing in this myth that the box is already full? Or with age do we realise and appreciate that all interactions with others require effort? Someone once said to me in response to me saying I was lucky to have such good … [Read more...]

The Importance of Self Nurture


I’ve just been for a pedicure. Some of you might be saying ‘yes….and so?’, others might be thinking ‘how extravagant’. I’m thinking self nurture. It cost me £30 and lasted around 45 minutes. The polish was shellac so I know whatever bashing into things I do the polish will look wonderful for many weeks (and probably months to come). I could have spent that £30 on other things - food shopping, money towards the gas bill but I chose to spend it on myself in what is for me one of the most luxurious … [Read more...]

Your Dream Doesn’t Have an Expiration Date.


Midlife is a time of great awakening if we allow ourselves to believe so. I'm not sure how many women realise this. I think too many are on the treadmill of life and don't stop to look up and breath let alone stop to smell the roses. Let this be the sign (that picture over on the right) that perhaps you didn't even know you were looking for! How many dreams have been put on the back burner? How many delicious plans did you have when you were in your 20s or 30s? I keep a journal and … [Read more...]

Making Every Day Count


Why is it that for most of us it’s not until a crisis occurs that we make changes to our lives? Do we honestly believe we are Peter Pan living in Never Never Land? Why do we never face our mortality until we’re looking at it face to face or we live with someone who is or a parent or friend is having to face the inevitable until we confront it? Why is it we muddle along in a career that is unsatisfying and frankly draining the very life out of us complaining day in and day out but not doing … [Read more...]

Uh Hello…I’m Over Here

You know I’m tired and fed up and sad of reading about women in midlife feeling that they have become invisible. They say they walk into a room and nobody notices them. I hear stories of lack of confidence and low self esteem, of women telling me they feel they no longer have any value in the world. This makes my heart break. I so long for you to feel valued, confident, respected, in your groove, alive and vibrant once again. So, I’m creating something just for you! It’s called Uh … [Read more...]

Phenomenal Women


Maya Angelou shone her light. She touched the lives of many. She could so well have become a victim to her circumstances, raped as a young girl, a single mum as a teenager and a prostitute at one time. Instead she stood tall, she did not play small, she grabbed life and taught us all. She was a civil rights activist, a poet and author, a dancer, a professor, a film director, a playwright and an actress. She will be missed. Her legacy lives on in all those whose lives she touched with her grace … [Read more...]

Not so Full of the Joys of High Spring?


Goodness me, May is almost over. It’s one of my favourite months of the year, not only because it's my birthday and I love any excuse to celebrate, but I love that it brings us another month closer to summer, my favourite season. May brings us longer, warmer days to enjoy and a chance to bare, if we dare, our legs and arms after a long winter hiatus! I find people more open to chatting and smiling when the weather warms up. But, let's say you've woken up not quite filled with the joys of high … [Read more...]

Monday Morning Food for Thought – 26th May 2014


Our own feelings of self worth, our inner happiness, joy we find in life, our wisdom, how we value and nurture ourselves are what make us beautiful. It really has nothing to do with the superficial, skin deep beauty.   Who are the beautiful women that inspire you? Are you one of them?   I'm putting together a fabulous eCourse for you, all about midlife, obviously! If you're feeling invisible, could do with a boost in confidence and self esteem them keep your eyes open in … [Read more...]

Monday Morning Food for Thought – 19th May 2014


"I think failure is so important. I've been fortunate to meet extraordinary people and not one of them didn't have their failure. It's the ability to use failure that often heads to success. Rock bottom wasn't fun at all, but it was liberating. What did I have to lose?" ~JK Rowling We never seem to view it that way do we. We view 'failure' as fatal and final and catastrophic.  What if we view failures in our life as the bedrock on which we are able to build strong and solid foundations? How … [Read more...]

Comfort Zones and Vulnerability


Earlier this week I received the email I've been longing for from my publishers..... 'We're going to print later this week.' I was overjoyed, elated, whooping and doing a dance in my kitchen. My book, my baby Best Knickers Always: 50 Lessons for Midlife was finally going to the printers. My ever patient partner texted me to say, 'So now do you believe?' Yes, now I did indeed believe and I could breathe....for a moment. Because another email arrived shortly afterwards to say, 'We're actually … [Read more...]

Living a Life With No Regrets


We waste so much of our time regretting. And it has the potential by the time we've got to midlife to get a little out of control. We regret what we did and we regret what we didn't do. This way of thinking acts to keep us living in the past. The past is gone. No amount of regretting will bring it back in order that we can make different decisions. The present is what we have. The future is a dream. What can you do today to make sure that you live this day forward with no … [Read more...]

Writing Workshop: Discovering Self Expression


I was dragged kicking and screaming to writing by my coach. You see I couldn't write. That's what I told myself. I never even dreamed of becoming a writer. When people used to say 'Oh everyone has a book in them' my response was always, 'Not me!' According to my English teacher, I couldn’t write. I was told I had no imagination. I believed her for 35 years... 2007 saw the beginning of major upheaval in my life and I turned to writing a journal to make sense of the chaos in my head and in … [Read more...]

Taking Stock and Spending Quality Time with Alexander Fleming

self care

I've been a naughty girl. I've been pushing myself to extremes and thinking I could get away with it. You see, I'm never ill. And then when I get something it flattens me.  A full blown chest infection is not pleasant. At least the 20 stone wrestler kneeling on my chest making it very difficult to breathe has gone! Thank God for Alexander Fleming! So what have I learned? We have one beautiful body in which we reside - feed it, nurture it and love it. Ignore it at our peril. I am loved … [Read more...]

When the Going Gets Tough


I think it's fair to say that life is no picnic. There are times in our lives that are seriously challenging. I've been there and will no doubt be there again. You may well be going through a really tough time right now. Here are my thoughts. When the going gets tough remember this.... This too will pass. Nothing is forever. Simply knowing this helped me remain sane when my life felt like it was imploding. Focus on what is working and celebrate this. Believe me, there will be … [Read more...]